PHP powers the majority of the internet. It’s a fast, scalable and capable language. But what do you do when it’s not fast enough? Do you switch to HHVM? What about HippyVM? And Quercus? And Zephir? What about Phalcon? What about other options? In this talk, we’ll dive into the options for speeding up a PHP site. We’ll go over the options, when they are appropriate, and when they are not. We’ll talk about how to make a site faster. We’ll demystify and de-FUD the conversation around these alternative implementations, and get down to the real numbers involved.